A few days ago, I began a new devotional/Bible study through SheReadsTruth. SheReadsTruth is an online community of women who are seeking God and who long to grow closer to Him through fellowship and daily time in the word.
How much do I need both of those things in my life right now?
Let me give you a little bit of background on me. I recently returned from living overseas – I’ve lived in three countries in five years. I turned down my fourth overseas assignment because I felt that God was calling me back to the States. Yes, I missed my family and yes I had just started seeing this really great guy and I knew the relationship wouldn’t last if I went back overseas, but I also knew that I was struggling in my faith. To be honest, my faith was practically nonexistent. I had been to church only a handful of times since moving abroad, I had zero fellowship with other Christians, and I was making life choices that I knew were wrong. In short, I was a mess.
So, I moved back to the States. And I have to be honest – I expected my life to do a complete 180 overnight. I thought I’d immediately find a great church and meet lots of fellow believers. I’d join a great Bible Study and immediately hit it off with all these people and host get-togethers and spend every day in the Word of God and life would be sunshine and rainbows. I imagined I’d suddenly know, without a shadow of a doubt, what God’s plan for me was and what I needed to do with my life.
Not surprisingly, that’s not exactly the way it went.
I’m still looking for a church I can call home. I’ve been to several, and while I like them enough, I haven’t really found one where I feel like I can belong. I tried a Bible Study, but stopped going after a couple of weeks – for no good reason. I’m still searching for fellowship and I’m still thirsty for a Christian community.
Folks – it’s no picnic being a Christian, and it’s that much harder without a support system.
(Caveat: I have my family and I have The Man, but I don’t have anyone in my area of residence, so I have no accountability partners, no real community.)
I found shereadstruth a couple of weeks ago and started their Nehemiah study on Tuesday. And again, in the spirit of honesty, I’m really trying NOT to fall into the mentality that this will be easy. That just because I’m starting this study will mean I’ll meet lots of great Christians, I’ll find a church, and my life will be totally turned around.
It takes work. I need to remember that. It takes more than just good intentions…because you know what they say about good intentions!
So I am making a commitment on this blog to be accountable. I will be accountable to God and I will be accountable to myself and my actions. I’ll let you all know my progress and where I am and what I’m struggling with. And I welcome any and all thoughts, comments, and support! Because just maybe some of you reading this are in the same boat. And sometimes all it takes is one person to reach out and keep you from drowning.
Thanks for listening.