I’ve found myself spending a lot of time lately asking for forgiveness during my prayers.
Please forgive my horrible attitude today.
Please forgive me for my unfaithfulness.
Please forgive me for doubting.
Please forgive me for not trusting You.
I feel like it’s this vicious cycle sometimes that I just can’t get out of. I pull myself out of yesterday’s pit of doubt, fear, despair, and self-loathing and I ask God’s forgiveness and promise to do better, only to find myself failing again. I want to trust God. I want to live a Godly life, I want to have a Christ-like character, I want to glorify God in everything I do. So why is it so hard? Why do I keep messing it up?
Are you ready for this? It’s kind of earth-shattering.
It’s because I am human.
I know, right? I couldn’t really grasp it myself. But as I was catching up on my She Reads Truth devotion from last week, I read Day 14 (Neh 9:30-10:39), compliments of Amanda Williams from SRT:
Repentance leads to a renewed obedience.
A renewed obedience. One of Mirriam-Webster’s definitions for ‘renew’ is to do again or begin again. How about that? When we repent, we’re starting over. As long as we ask forgiveness, we have a clean slate. The gospel tells us that we need to turn to God again and again – even if we continue to get things wrong. This isn’t to say we shouldn’t continually try to get it right; but we should recognize that we’re going to make mistakes. Take a look at the Israelites – they were constantly turning away from God; constantly disobeying Him. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better to know that even God’s chosen people got it wrong. And pretty frequently at that. But Joshua 1:5 tells us “as I was with Moses, so I will be with you: I will never fail you nor forsake you.”
God will never fail us or forsake us. He will never leave us, no matter how many times we screw up. As long as we repent, and keep trying, He will be there. Pretty powerful stuff, huh? Powerful and comforting. All we need to do is trust in Him.
I think the O.C. Supertones summed it up pretty well with their song lyrics:
I count on God, I love Him best
He helps me through my trials and tests
He’ll always be there when I call
Always catch me when I fall
Thank you Lord, for being there for me when I fall. Thank for forgiving me and loving me and never forsaking me.
Because, really. Is there anything greater than the unconditional love of God?